Monday, August 6, 2012

A Beginning

Our story is a story of two Mormon girls who grew-up believing in the Mormon script for our lives and wanting to following that script.  Only life doesn't work that way.  We have decided to start a blog because of the strength and support that we have received from so many blogs over the past couple of months.  Let's start at the beginning.

Theresa and I (Rachel), met at BYU in the winter of 2001.  Theresa had just returned from her mission in Spain and I had been back from my mission in Guatemala for about 7 months.  On a cold winter night I made my usual trek over to my friend's apartment to watch Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?  I knocked on the door and it was answered by someone I had not met before.  I fell for this beautiful woman instantaneously.  She was clever and funny.  She bantered with the t.v. and with me, which I found incredibly attractive.  She was yelling at Regis Philbin because he guided a contestant to the wrong answer.  I remember that she was wearing a duck scrunchie in her hair and I was mesmerized by her.

Being attracted to women was not a new experience for me.  I had felt this way many times.  Actually, I was only attracted to women and that was all I had even known.  At that time I believed that there was something wrong with me, but it did not stop me from falling for Theresa that night.  Little did I know that this meeting would be with the woman that would become my partner, my best friend, my confidant, my everything.

I knew I was smitten by Theresa, but I also knew that having "same-sex attraction" was bad and that if I ever told Theresa how I felt, that she would probably reject me and think that I was a horrible person.  I decided to pursue her as a friend anyway.  I listened carefully to where her classes were and I would occasionally be studying under a tree that I knew would be in her path.  Every time that I talked to her it was heaven.  We became close friends rather quickly and spent many nights talking into the wee hours of the morning.

I felt so safe with Theresa and one day I decided that I wanted to tell her that I was attracted to her.  I trusted her, but I also knew that it was a risk.  It felt like the right thing to do.  As it turned out, it was the right thing to do.  She didn't even flinch when I told her my feelings for her.  She was completely okay with it and wanted to still be my friend.  I was shocked and elated.  It was the first time in my life that I had shared this part of me with someone and her reaction showed me that she was full of love.  We continued to build our friendship over the next few be continued...

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